F**kface Mall Draft
Bonus · published 2023-05-19 · archive #178

[0:00:09] Andrew: Hello and welcome to another really dumb draft we're doing. This is the malls draft. Let me explain how this works. Imagine, guys, that we're all competing malls, is sort of how I visualize this. We're all in the same town, we're all malls, and we're drafting stores. So if we pick a store, nobody else's mall can have it. It's gonna be four picks, pick whatever you want, just has to be mall stores or I guess things within a mall. And the goal is to build the best mall. Yeah, you want to have the best mall. Essentially what people will be determining for who the winner is, is what mall would they most like to go to, based off of what we're seeing.
[0:00:44] Geoff: When I was a kid in Alabama, we had the Bel Air Mall and the Springdale Mall, and the Bel Air Mall was the good mall, and the Springdale Mall was the shit mall. And so everybody here wants to be Bel Air Mall.
[0:00:54] Andrew: Absolutely, yeah. For me, it's like visualizing the malls I grew up with, and what I liked about the specific ones, and if I could combine them, what a place that would be.
[0:01:04] Eric: I mean, you still live in a very mall-centric place, right? Like where all your malls are in like a straight line.
[0:01:10] Andrew: I do, absolutely. But like, it's, I feel like, unlike Jeff, the mall is not, is not doing great. The mall's here. They're a little, they're a little lacking. A lot of outdoor malls, which I personally don't prefer. I like being in a space and walking around from place to place, which is not a lot that caters to that. But I'm really excited, because Jeff, big mall guy, I can't wait to see your board. I feel like this is the most specific to your interests.
[0:01:32] Geoff: I mean, I feel like, and let me say, right off the bat, I agree with you. I don't think an outdoor mall should be allowed to be called a mall. Like, it bugs me when they do it. It's just a fucking shopping complex, or a shopping center, or a strip mall that I'm okay with.
[0:01:46] Eric: Right. Gavin is also here. Gavin, how are you feeling about the mall draft?
[0:01:49] Andrew: Uh, I, I feel all right. Five, five out of 10. Wow. That's not a good one. Where were you on the rock? Yeah, wasn't it seven on the last one? Yeah, I hope I do it right. I think you're going to do great. I think this is going to be your draft. I also, I feel like I have a bit of a leg up because I'm a little older than y'all.
[0:02:09] Geoff: And I, I got to literally live through the height of the mall craze. And so I feel like I was more immersed and steeped in it than, than the younger of you were.
[0:02:19] Gavin: I feel like I've been in an American mall maybe twice.
[0:02:22] Eric: Oh, great. I was about to ask, any concern about how international this podcast is?
[0:02:28] Andrew: I think it's going to be interesting because I, I definitely also have some, some regional choices on my list. Oh, good. Um, I'm excited to see. So we should randomize this?
[0:02:37] Eric: In order to select what we need to do here, we are going to use random.org and we are going to, I'm sharing my screen so that way everyone can see and I'm doing it fair. And that is what we're doing. Do you have a spreadsheet for this one too? Yeah, yeah. I'll send that right after we do this because I have to put the order in after we randomize it. So we have Jeff, Gavin, Andrew, Eric, Nick. I am randomizing now.
[0:02:59] Gavin: Wait, wait, before you randomize it, what, what determined the order that you typed it into this box?
[0:03:05] Eric: That's typically, that's typically how I list the names out, uh, when I'm doing metadata for the show. Okay. And I also feel like this is how you guys are introduced.
[0:03:16] Geoff: I, yeah, I feel like the, at the official order should be in an egg. You think it should be Andrew, you want me to relist this as an egg? But which G am I? Andrew, Nick, Eric, uh, I don't care. Do you want to be first G or second G? I could be last G. You want to be last G? All right, I'll be first G, you're last G. Oh, fuck. Okay, so. That's, and now let's just say that's the official, that is how, officially how we order f*** face.
[0:03:42] Andrew: I mean, that's not how we should order f*** face. That's like, that doesn't make any sense. An egg. I'm annoyed, I'm annoyed because I really want the first pick. If you get the first pick, Eric, because I just got moved from the third slot to the first, I'm going to be so goddamn angry.
[0:03:54] Geoff: Why, we all have the same, we all have the same odds. How about this? But it's pulling from a position. How about this? How about this? To assuage Andrew, what if you randomize it five times? So I just hit random five. Okay, let's try it.
[0:04:08] Unidentified: You know what? Five is my lucky number.
[0:04:10] Andrew: I like five. I like five a lot. There's five of us.
[0:04:13] Gavin: Wait, hang on. Gavin said once. Well, I think it should be once because we all remember the original order, and it would be funny to contrast it with where we would have been. If we randomize it five times, we're going to lose track of where everything went.
[0:04:24] Andrew: But I don't care about that. I want five. I like five. Five's my lucky number. I'm pushing for five. Five it is.
[0:04:29] Eric: Okay. Should we read out what it randomizes each time? Or at least just... Yeah, so we're starting... All right, here we go. Andrew, Nick, Eric, Jeff, Gavin. Here's the first one. Jeff, Andrew, Eric, Gavin, Nick. Wow. Nick would have been fifth again.
[0:04:45] Unidentified: Wow.
[0:04:45] Eric: That's the first randomization. Here's the second. Gavin, Nick, Andrew, Jeff, Eric. I'm moving back. I'm moving back. I want to be in the front. Number three. Jeff, Andrew, Gavin, Eric, Nick. Nick at number five again.
[0:05:01] Geoff: I don't want to go first.
[0:05:02] Eric: Number four. Jeff, Andrew, Nick, Gavin, Eric. Oh, my God. Come on. And now, number one. The fifth and final. Come on.
[0:05:13] Unidentified: I told you. I told you. Agnag. My lucky number. Five. Agnag. First overall.
[0:05:25] Gavin: Holy shit. I'm glad I took the last G because I would have been lost. Oh, I would have been... Yeah.
[0:05:30] Andrew: So... Agnag. Oh, my God. I can't believe I won that.
[0:05:34] Eric: Here is...
[0:05:37] Andrew: Oh.
[0:05:38] Unidentified: That was so dumb. Oh, I love it.
[0:05:42] Eric: Okay. Okay. We have a list. Andrew. Okay. Gavin. You're fantastic.
[0:05:47] Andrew: I'm so happy. Nick.
[0:05:52] Eric: Eric. Jeff.
[0:05:54] Gavin: Bad RNG for Jeff. That's all right.
[0:05:58] Eric: Andrew, whenever you would like to begin. You are the first pick. So don't pick Crack Rock. In the very first pick in the mall draft here.
[0:06:07] Andrew: There's a lot of pressure, but I feel like this is an obvious, like, 1-1. I couldn't imagine this going beyond the second pick. It is, to me, you are not a mall unless you have this store, at least in North America. It is the standard. It's not a store I would visit a lot, but it's always there. It's a comforting staple. I'm going with Spencer's Gifts. Okay? To me, that is the all-time mall store. Spencer's Gifts. Like, you're never, you're not going to see it anywhere. It's shitty. It's where you buy a lava lamp if you want one. Now they do weird sex toy stuff. It's very strange, but I just, I think it's a definitive mall staple. It's where pop culture IP goes to die.
[0:06:43] Geoff: Yeah.
[0:06:44] Andrew: It does. Yes.
[0:06:45] Eric: It is a graveyard. Yeah. But it is a graveyard in most malls. It's true. We got Red vs. Blue stuff in there or no? Oh, I think we probably did at some point. Gavin, before you give your pick, any thoughts on Spencer's Gifts?
[0:07:00] Gavin: I think that's where I got my pin clock from.
[0:07:03] Andrew: Probably.
[0:07:03] Geoff: Yeah.
[0:07:04] Andrew: That's when I bought the eight-foot inflatable battle bus. That's where I got it from Spencer's Gifts. I forgot about that.
[0:07:10] Geoff: Probably my most significant purchase from that. I'm feeling good about that. That wasn't on my list, so I didn't lose anything. Really? I mean, I considered it. I considered it, but I just had stuff I liked more.
[0:07:18] Eric: I was definitely talked about, not on my list.
[0:07:20] Geoff: Yeah.
[0:07:20] Eric: That's crazy to me. That's me. Okay. Fair enough. Gavin, you have the second pick in the first round.
[0:07:27] Andrew: I can't wait for, like, Twiddlywinks or some bullshit that I've never heard of.
[0:07:31] Gavin: Twiddlywinks is good, but it's no Greggs, the ultimate place to get your sausage rolls and some sammies and also some of the best unintentional marketing I've ever seen in my life.
[0:07:47] Eric: Oh!
[0:07:48] Gavin: That video.
[0:07:49] Eric: Is that what that's from?
[0:07:51] Gavin: Yeah. Everyone watch that. It's a classic. I'm sure we've all seen it, but it's probably one of the best videos on the internet.
[0:07:56] Eric: It is Plastic Bag Interrupts News Report Original on YouTube.
[0:08:00] Geoff: I've never seen this before.
[0:08:02] Eric: I've never seen this either. I've never looked at what brand of the bag is.
[0:08:07] Gavin: That's a fucking great pick. I've never heard of Greggs, but that's a great pick. It's probably in my top 10 things of things I miss about England.
[0:08:18] Andrew: Really? Really? Yeah. Wow. Wow. And as Greggs, like, everywhere, is that, like, a common mall place? Yeah.
[0:08:25] Gavin: Well, it's a common, it's a chain. Yeah.
[0:08:29] Andrew: Yeah. I just, yeah. Great. That's awesome. And I feel like it covers food. Like, it has some food in it, it looks like. Yeah. Like, I think that's an important, at least for my consideration from my board, is I think you've got to have a place with at least food in it.
[0:08:42] Geoff: Yeah. I completely agree. I feel like I have one food place, because I feel like it's a requirement. If you're building out a mall, you have to give somebody something to eat.
[0:08:49] Eric: I don't know what Greggs is, but the picture you sent, it looks like it would be in a mall, and everything is 50p, so that's nice. Nick, you are the third pick in the first round.
[0:09:02] Nick: So, I feel like this is a store that you would always end up in to kill time at the mall. It was, like, the go-to store. And no one ever bought anything there, but, hell, if you ever wanted or needed to get an experimental flying vacuum, this was the store for it. It's not loading. Brookstone is the store. Brookstone. Yeah. Nice. But, I mean, like, it had all that high-tech, weird travel stuff that you could get, and, like, all the cool little gadgets and gizmos, and it's out of business now, but. That place ruled.
[0:09:30] Geoff: They had, like, you could go test out the vibrating chairs there. Hang on.
[0:09:34] Eric: You picked a business in your first pick that's out of business? I mean, it's a mall stable.
[0:09:40] Geoff: All mine are out of business. Really?
[0:09:43] Nick: What? Because it's still a mall.
[0:09:45] Geoff: We're not building stores that exist today. We're building, like, the best. Yeah, it's like the dream mall. Right.
[0:09:51] Nick: Malls of yesteryear.
[0:09:52] Geoff: Yeah.
[0:09:53] Eric: Okay. That's fine. Sure. I guess.
[0:09:57] Andrew: I think it's a fair question. It was a thought I had, too, Eric, of do the stores actually still need to be in business, but I think it's a great point that this is, like, the fantasy mall.
[0:10:05] Eric: I mean, that truly does not make me feel better, but thank you. Knowing that you had the same question worries my line of thinking. Oh, it's a reasonable thought. I have the next pick, and I think that you guys are all thinking too small. I think that this is a staple in malls, and it is an AMC movie theater. Yeah, it's a great pick. Great. I think that it is such a thing that gets you to the mall so you do other things at the mall establishment.
[0:10:40] Unidentified: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
[0:10:41] Eric: Like, that, to me, is the cornerstone of what I'm doing here. But it's the reason why I would go to a mall now in my 30s versus any, like, truly, really any other reason.
[0:10:53] Geoff: Hmm. I think it's a great choice.
[0:10:55] Andrew: I think a theater is a great pick. There's all sorts of brands you could pick from. Is there AMC? Is that just the one that you associate the most with? Yeah, definitely. Why would you go with AMC? Okay.
[0:11:05] Eric: That's a fair pick. I just think of seeing it from outside. Yeah, maybe a Regal, but really, it's seeing it from outside of the mall. It is AMC. That's stupid-looking A, and that is, um, that's the movie theater of the mall to me.
[0:11:20] Gavin: Do you think that's top 10 worst A's?
[0:11:22] Eric: It's a bad A.
[0:11:24] Gavin: That's a real shit A.
[0:11:25] Andrew: You're right.
[0:11:25] Geoff: Next draft. Yeah, it's not a good A.
[0:11:28] Andrew: I agree. Bad A's, the draft. Does AMC have an arcade in it? I don't have an AMC where I live, so I was just curious. I don't know if I've ever been in one. Okay, that's good, because I feel like that's also, like, you want that from a mall.
[0:11:39] Eric: Yeah, you want to play Cruisin' World for a minute, and then go see, go sit for previews.
[0:11:44] Andrew: You want, like, a gotcha game of, like, a claw machine or something just somewhere in the lobby that you could fuck with.
[0:11:49] Eric: I also think it's a great theater that you could sneak from movie to movie if you're 14 years old, and you're just trying to see a bunch of movies in a day, you know? Just for, like, how it's designed? Yeah, it's just that kind of chain theater where it's like, well, we're going to employ just enough people to keep this thing running, and they're all going to be 18, and none of them are going to give a fuck about this thing. So, yeah, definitely go see four movies in one day if you're 14 years old.
[0:12:13] Gavin: Do they have an ultimate combo?
[0:12:14] Eric: Do you know what? It's a great question. I don't know that they do. That's definitely a galaxy theater thing, but I'll have to do some research. But, Jeff, you have the final pick in the first round.
[0:12:27] Geoff: I'm the caboose in AgNeg, so I'm going to knock out a place. I'm thinking similarly where I'm not just trying to pick the coolest stores, but I'm trying to build. It's hard to do with four. Actually, I think it would be much easier with five to build a full mall experience, but I think the cornerstone of any mall experience is you want to be able to go get a tasty snack, whether it's like a pretzel or a soda or something to walk around with while you're enjoying the mall to wet your whistle, and so I'm gone. I've picked a classic, classic, classic, maybe even a little bit before some of your time, but when you think of the mall in the 80s, you think of Orange Julius.
[0:13:08] Eric: Ah, that's a good one.
[0:13:10] Geoff: Yeah.
[0:13:11] Eric: Gavin, you ever had an Orange Julius?
[0:13:13] Geoff: No. It's like a frothy orange juice combo drink. It's awesome. It's partnered with Dairy Queen, right? Orange Julius? They are now. Orange Julius is still around, actually. I don't know if they're in any malls. You can also see at the height that you could get hot dogs there as well. The tile pattern just screams 7-Eleven to me for some reason.
[0:13:33] Gavin: The color scheme?
[0:13:34] Eric: Yeah, I think it's the color scheme. I think to me, I look at it and I see Florida, which is what you want in orange. You know what I mean? Yeah.
[0:13:42] Geoff: So that's my first pick, Orange Julius.
[0:13:45] Eric: I also like the picture that you picked for it, which is definitely like, that looked like skateboarding to the mall, walking in, and there was the Orange Julius. Yes. And we all had to scrounge together, change to split one. Absolutely.
[0:13:59] Andrew: Yeah.
[0:14:00] Gavin: It just fits perfectly. I like that it looks kind of dingy in there. I think the auto exposure is really taken from the neon sign and everything else looks really dark.
[0:14:11] Andrew: No, but that's how it looks, Gavin. That is an accurate representation of how you feel when you're lining up for an Orange Julius.
[0:14:17] Geoff: Oh, it's so good, too. Oh, they're the best.
[0:14:21] Eric: We are snake drafting, so Jeff, because you're the caboose, now you are the engine,
[0:14:26] Geoff: and you get to pick for the first and the second round. Oh, shit. This is gonna be difficult. I'm gonna have to narrow it down. All right. I'm going... Oh, fuck me. Yeah, okay. Okay, uh, I'm gonna go... Leave all this in. Well, I've got three different things that I still haven't... I was kind of... I was hoping you guys would help me make my choice based on what you did or didn't pick. Uh, all right. I'm gonna go with this one. When I would go to the mall and I would save up my money, there were two places I would spend it. Uh, this was one of them. Um, there's probably different versions of this around, but this is the one that was the largest music chain in North America in the mall at the time. So I am going with Camelot Music. What? Oh. Camelot Music.
[0:15:26] Geoff: Yeah. I think it became FYE eventually, but it was the largest... It was the largest music, uh, like, record store, tape store, CD store in America. Looks like it says Cremelot.
[0:15:38] Eric: I've never been to Cremelot Music. Jeff.
[0:15:41] Geoff: Camelot Music. Uh, I think by, like, 94 or so, they were switched over to FYE.
[0:15:47] Andrew: I, you know, this is... So far with your picks, Jeff, this has completely shifted my view of your mall experience, which I think is interesting. In my head, you have walked around the mall in recent times being excited about what the mall currently brings, where now I'm viewing it as, like, you walking around imagining what once was. The Orange Julius that used to be there, the Camelot Music.
[0:16:08] Geoff: I'm imagining the best version of a mall that I could put together across this expanse of time. And at the time when Camelot Music was at its height, that was where every teenager went, because that's where, like, you would go get the new Nine Inch Nails CD or whatever as soon as it came out. It was a big fucking deal. They got Union Jack back there. Under books. Oh, they do! Yeah, and they had books and stuff, too, which is kind of why I picked it. So, because I did have, like, bookstores and stuff on my list as well, but, yeah, I'm narrowing it down to Camelot. That's what I'm going with.
[0:16:39] Andrew: I think he's a good pick. I mean, I don't... I never experienced Camelot music, obviously, but I definitely have similar mall experiences with different stores that fill that exact same need. I think that is a staple for sure.
[0:16:49] Eric: Yeah.
[0:16:50] Andrew: Okay.
[0:16:50] Eric: Um, I have the next pick in the second round, and I wonder how you guys are going to feel about this, because we talked about food places, and this, to me, is a... It's a mall staple, but I don't know if you're going to agree. I think that... Well, we'll see. My pick for my food spot in my mall, walk out of the AMC Theater, I'm done watching a movie, and I go right to the McDonald's to buy the giant thing of french fries and walk around. Mm-hmm. That is absolutely my mall spot getting something to eat.
[0:17:24] Gavin: So you're just sort of grazing on super-sized fries?
[0:17:27] Eric: Absolutely. At one point, I remember being... God, it had to be like 11 or 12, and you could get like a bucket of french fries. It was just like an absurd amount of french fries, and we would just get that and walk around the mall and eat this giant bucket of french fries and walk into stores and touch everything with our greasy little hands.
[0:17:48] Geoff: That sounds great. That is such a good pick, Eric, because you're reminding me. My career started at the McDonald's in Bel Air Mall. Wow. There was like... You could sit at the... There was like a bar you could sit at that faced into the mall, and it just had a glass window, and you could watch people walk by. And my friends and I would just sit and similarly eat french fries, like a basket of french fries, and just make fun of people. And I think that's when I realized I wanted to be funny or make fun of people for a living.
[0:18:18] Andrew: This is really interesting for me to see, because I've never seen a McDonald's in a mall by itself before. Oh, hell yeah. This is not something I have. Yeah, to me, I associate... If you're going to get a McDonald's in a mall, it's going to be attached to a Walmart. Like, that's the only... I do not think of McDonald's as a standalone mall in place.
[0:18:37] Eric: That was my concern, making the pick, because I had this conversation with my wife, and she said McDonald's, and I went, oh, I don't... Oh, yeah. It wasn't the first thing I thought of, but when she brought it up, it's like, that's the best... To me, the best pick that I don't know that everyone's going to agree with, because of exactly what Andrew just said. I think it's a good pick. I just...
[0:18:55] Geoff: I've never seen it. I have seen it many times. Yep. At some point.
[0:19:03] Eric: Yeah. I also think that it's an international thing. It's probably very much US, and probably not in a lot of other places in this way. Yeah. There you go. Great pick, though. Pick. Thank you. Next pick, Nick. Your second pick.
[0:19:17] Nick: It feels like the round of food, or at least kind of tail end off of that, so I'm going to go with the place I feel like is the easiest snack food, because it is one you can carry around with you, but also if you want a dessert, you can get a dessert. If you just want a hot dog, if you want a pretzel, of course, they've got that great dip in sauce. Annie Ann's. Oh. Annie Ann's. Classic. Classic. On my list.
[0:19:39] Eric: It was on my list. I did not pick it.
[0:19:42] Nick: It's like Pavlov's dog. I start to drool when I get to the food court, and I smell that pretzel. Pavlov's aunt.
[0:19:51] Eric: I don't know that I've ever bought anything from Auntie Ann's, but I have eaten a million free samples.
[0:19:57] Geoff: Oh, that too. From Auntie Ann's. Yeah. If you don't have cash, you can get it. That's like the most recognizable smell, too. Like, when you get within smell range of Annie Ann's, you know it instantly.
[0:20:08] Andrew: Just fresh, like, pretzel. It smells so good. It's a great smell. My favorite Annie Ann's thing is not even, like, mall specific, but Calvin Johnson was, like, the number one wide receiver in the NFL for a long time, and he retired early. But there are all these rumors for, like, the next three years post-retirement that he might come back to the NFL, and then he might play for the Patriots. And it was reported that he was flying into Boston, and it was kind of around the trade deadline. So people were losing their minds that this was, like, a sign that he was going to return and that the Patriots were going to trade for him, and it was going to be this big move. But in reality, he just owned a chain of Auntie Ann's pretzel places, and they were having, like, a get-toe. It was like a marketing meet-up type thing for Auntie Ann's. Had nothing to do with football, entirely pretzel-related. So that's, like, the main memory I have, because we don't have these. I've never eaten Auntie Ann's, but I always think of Calvin Johnson when I see Auntie Ann's. This is a weird association, but I just think it's so funny. The idea of NFL fans losing their minds over what was just, like, a pretzel-related purchase
[0:21:08] Andrew: is fantastic.
[0:21:12] Eric: Good pick. I really like it. Gavin, before you do your second pick, how are you feeling about these malls so far? How are you feeling about this draft?
[0:21:19] Gavin: I feel like this is going pretty smooth so far.
[0:21:21] Eric: Okay. Okay. It's, uh, I'm really glad to hear that. Now, it's your turn, your second pick.
[0:21:28] Gavin: I'm imagining my dream mall, this hypothetical mall being in America, and, you know, it's nice to buy cheap clothes when you don't care about them, and it's nice to be as confusing as possible.
[0:21:43] Andrew: TK Maxx. What? Oh.
[0:21:46] Gavin: TK?
[0:21:46] Andrew: What is TK Maxx? I feel like I've heard of TK Maxx. Is it TK in the UK?
[0:21:52] Gavin: Yep. For some reason, TJ Maxx is TK Maxx in the UK, so I just think that will really confuse people when they walk past it. Huh.
[0:22:00] Unidentified: What?
[0:22:01] Eric: I can't. What?
[0:22:04] Unidentified: Wow.
[0:22:04] Eric: Is it the same store? Yep. It's like the, Andrew, it's not just the same store. It's like the same logo.
[0:22:11] Andrew: Yeah. Oh, that's weird. What's the, what does the K stand for and the J stand for? For each one, does anyone? I have no idea.
[0:22:20] Eric: No clue.
[0:22:21] Andrew: Huh.
[0:22:23] Eric: It doesn't stand for anything. Although the name was created using initials of its founder, the T, the J, and the X, TJ Maxx is a riff off the TJX company. That's, there's nothing that it stands for. Weird. Wow.
[0:22:35] Gavin: So they just changed the J. Yeah. Cause when I moved here, I was like, oh, there's, they've got T, wait, hang on. They've got T, TJ Maxx?
[0:22:42] Eric: Why is it?
[0:22:44] Nick: Oh, it was modified in the UK to avoid confusion with the British retail chain, TJ Hughes. I've never even heard of TJ Hughes. What's that?
[0:22:55] Gavin: TJ Hughes. It sounds like a bookshop. Discount store. Uh, I don't know. Never seen one. That's just like an everything store.
[0:23:07] Eric: Well, I, you know, I think TJ Maxx isn't what I would have thought of for a mall clothing spot, but I like it. I like that pick. That gets, that gets my grandma and my mom there like, easy. They can't wait to spend eight and a half hours inside of one of those places.
[0:23:27] Andrew: That's such a great point. Cause I don't, I don't think I'd ever pick it and I wouldn't think of it, but if I'm in a mall, there's a comfort in having it there. Even if I don't go there, it just feels right. That should be there. Absolutely. It's a good pick. Gavin.
[0:23:39] Gavin: I thank you.
[0:23:39] Andrew: I'm excited about my next two picks.
[0:23:42] Eric: Well, Andrew, you get two in a row cause you are the caboose and then the engine for this.
[0:23:46] Andrew: And much like Jeff, you in the last, you know, the rock rock, not rock draft, you talked about personal things. I really thought about like what my definitive mall experiences was. What were the moments I loved about the mall? What really connected with me. And I think by far my number one place that I would visit is a GameStop without a doubt going into the store, looking at all the used games, their DVDs, having the things of like the joy of a kid of having like maybe $15 and being like, what the fuck can I buy? Like what weird shit? I want a new game. What am I going to find that's pre-owned that I could fit? I spent so much time in GameStops just like looking at random things. Also, just the kiosks of like when you don't own the console, like maybe you can't afford it. And so being able to play like the demo station, I played the King Kong 360 demo so many goddamn times just because it was the main thing available. I have a lot of fondness, not for the brand itself. GameStop as an entity is terrible, but just the mall experience and sort of like the joyful
[0:24:50] Andrew: ignorance of a kid just like going through a game store.
[0:24:53] Geoff: Do you know those those those little little kiosks you're talking about where you could sit and play 360 games? Do you know for like 18 months we made like little interstitials for every video game that you could play there like top spin golf and there'd be like a 30 second intro. Yeah, a little RBB intro. Me and Bernie and Gus like making fucking, I don't know, jokes about golf or whatever. I think there's one for like Amped or something as well. Yeah, yeah. That's great. We did it. Yeah.
[0:25:21] Andrew: I didn't even. Yeah, that's a good point. The weird nostalgia for having that like shitty like CRT on the ceiling that would just play like trailers of stuff like it's that's all great. All of that fundamental part of my mall experience growing up. Loved it.
[0:25:35] Geoff: I think that's a great choice. It was also a great place to go buy a Red vs. Blue DVD for about three years before they stopped selling DVDs. Sold about 50,000. Well, sold about 100,000 DVDs through GameStop probably. Wow. If not more. That's awesome.
[0:25:50] Unidentified: Rain change your picnic plans. Hey, it happens. But now everyone's indoors, cozy and around the same table. That's a small win that feels pretty good. Just like the Minute Maid fruit drink and lemonade cartons. Always made with real juice. Always real flavor. Bring the juice with Minute Maid fruit drink and lemonade cartons. And visit the chill juice aisle in your local grocery store today.
[0:26:14] Andrew: I guess I'll move on to my next one. This is, I completely agree with Eric. Eric, the other main staple of a mall experience for me is the movie theater, going to movies, having popcorn, the arcade, all of it is important. I'm going with, the chain is Landmark Cinemas, but it's called the Avalon. Where I live, it's the perfect neon thing. You want it sort of shitty for a mall. I will say, one leg up, Avalon slash Landmark has over AMC, free popcorn refills without a membership. What? You still get the free refills on the large drink and the large popcorn, which is not offered. That was the main deciding factor for me. There's two theater chains where I live, and one of them no longer does that. So I had to lean more towards the Avalon Landmark. Great theater. As you've said, I think it's such an important part of the mall experience, is just killing time, going from show to show. It's a spot I feel is needed to hang out for a long time in the mall, which is what you'd want to do.
[0:27:09] Eric: Yep. I like it. That's a good pick. I think theater's a strong one. It's a strong choice. I'm curious to see what Gavin is about to do in his third round pick after TK Maxx.
[0:27:20] Gavin: Well, for me, the staple of a mall, if we're talking about staples and cinemas and staples, we should probably have staples.
[0:27:27] Unidentified: Okay.
[0:27:28] Eric: I don't think the mall should have staples.
[0:27:30] Gavin: If you want some stationery. If you want a stapler.
[0:27:34] Andrew: I don't think I've ever seen a staples in a mall, but I think that's just maybe a
[0:27:37] Gavin: They're always quite big, aren't they? But maybe they need to shrink a staples down. Uh-huh.
[0:27:41] Eric: Maybe just sell staples. Your ideal mall would have a staples that they've shrunken down and put in the mall.
[0:27:47] Unidentified: Oh, yeah.
[0:27:47] Gavin: Yeah, I think so.
[0:27:49] Geoff: Gavin's ultimate. Like, do you want to go to the mall Saturday? Like, oh, yeah. We could go to staples and we could grab a meat pie at Greg's and then head over to TK Maxx.
[0:27:58] Eric: I'm so excited. Your mall is all the stores I don't go to. And I'm so excited to see what your fourth pick is going to be when it comes back around. Like, Gavin, you have given, like, these are strong malls so far. Your mall is insane.
[0:28:15] Gavin: And I can't wait to see what your fourth pick is. Oh, I would love to see which people would be in line.
[0:28:20] Andrew: Yeah, I was about to say, you're making a great case for most boring right now with this mall draft. I like Greg's. That seems fun.
[0:28:30] Geoff: I think it's a great choice, Gav. Everybody needs office supplies.
[0:28:33] Andrew: I just have never seen it in a mall. That's interesting to me. Sort of like Donald's. Right, but it should be shrunken down and put in a mall. Yeah. Okay. I guess, has anyone here seen it in a mall, though?
[0:28:44] Geoff: I don't know that I've been looking.
[0:28:45] Eric: That's a great argument against it. I mean, hang on. Let's see. Oh, Andrew. It looks like there's staples in the mall. Oh, there we go. Yeah, like I said, I'm not opposed to it. I just have never seen it.
[0:29:00] Geoff: It's got a window on the side. They should just call it a staple.
[0:29:06] Gavin: Looks like it might be next to a TK Maxx.
[0:29:08] Eric: It does. It looks like it's next to a TK Maxx.
[0:29:12] Geoff: That's great.
[0:29:13] Eric: That's your mall. I like that in that picture, on the side to entice you to come in. It says paper and ink. Oh, boy. Oh, I better calm down. I might get too excited about staples. Wait, we're just going to walk past here? Did you not see that? Nick, your third pick in the mall draft.
[0:29:33] Nick: So, this is a place I feel like you go to to kind of, you know, chill out for a little bit. If it is an outdoor mall, it's a good place just to pop in and be cool. But also, I just really love candles. Yankee Candle. Oh, Yankee Candle. Great spot to stop. They have a lot of different scents. You got to, you know, check them all out. Nick's Mall smells so good. And, and also, good indication of whether there's a COVID spike. That's, oh.
[0:30:04] Eric: So, you're providing not just an excellent shop, but also, like, a healthy human service.
[0:30:10] Nick: That's what I'm here for.
[0:30:11] Geoff: Man, I have instant memories of being drug into Yankee Candle and the Hallmark store with my mom when I was, like, nine and being just bored to fucking death. Me, too.
[0:30:21] Nick: But then I guess I adjusted.
[0:30:22] Geoff: Oh, yeah, that's classic mall. Yankee Candle.
[0:30:28] Eric: You guys, you don't have Yankee Candle?
[0:30:30] Geoff: We don't have it. Dude, Yankee Candle's probably still going strong, too.
[0:30:34] Eric: What do you guys have, like, you guys have, like, Candle? I don't even know. What's a British soldier called?
[0:30:42] Gavin: Now we got, like, Biffy's Wicks.
[0:30:44] Eric: I'm sorry. What the fuck did you just say?
[0:30:49] Gavin: I'll be honest. I made that up.
[0:30:52] Andrew: It sounded like it was out of Harry Potter. Like a Harry Potter table. Biffy's Wicks? Biffy's Wicks feels straight out of Harry Potter.
[0:31:00] Eric: Oh, man. Um, my next pick, and this sort of changed for me when Nick, this was one that I thought of on the fly when Nick said Brookstone, and then we decided, I just figured it had to be places that were open, and I was told that I was wrong, and that's fine. Oh, you found a quick replacement? But then I also, I also did some research and found out it is still open. Oh. My third pick in our mall draft, Suncoast Motion Picture Company. Dude, I have that same photo in my list. Do you really?
[0:31:35] Geoff: Yeah. Yeah. It's classic.
[0:31:37] Eric: Suncoast, there are three still open. That one's in Texas, I think, right? Beaumont, Texas, Omaha, Nebraska, Jacksonville, North Carolina. So. They cannot believe they're still going.
[0:31:49] Gavin: What, is it movies?
[0:31:50] Eric: Oh, yeah. If you want to spend $44 on an anime VHS, Gavin, do I have the place for you? Suncoast is where we would go into and look at all of the stuff that you've never seen before, and you would be like, I've never heard of any of these movies, these anime, these cartoons, like any of this stuff. It is the craziest selection of stuff, movies and just pop culture stuff before GameStop like really took that over. That's how that felt in like 1998.
[0:32:23] Geoff: There was a time before like Best Buy and shit when Suncoast was the only place you could go to get new DVDs and movies. I mean, you can buy used ones at Blockbuster, but if you wanted to go buy like a brand new Gremlins or whatever when it hit, you had to go to Suncoast.
[0:32:36] Eric: Yeah, and it was always really expensive, and it always had that marquee neon. All of them had like that marquee neon at like the top, and it was just such a cool look and such a cool spot when I was like 13 that it's hard to not put it on my list.
[0:32:55] Gavin: Pretty good A as well.
[0:32:57] Eric: Good A. Great, great looking A. I think all the letters there have such like a cool, like there should be like a palm tree with it, you know what I mean? Like there's, it's just like such a look. It has such a look to it. Yeah.
[0:33:11] Andrew: Suncoast sounds like the name of a candle I would buy at Yankee Candle and enjoy it. That's true.
[0:33:16] Eric: That's a great feel to it. Absolutely true. Great smell. But yeah, feel good about Suncoast is a third pick. I like it a lot.
[0:33:23] Geoff: Okay. Is that, is it on to me now? It's you, Jeff. I'll be honest, Eric. You did, you did me a favor by picking Suncoast because it was in a trifecta of three that I just was having trouble, trouble figuring out. And so you eliminating it from, from contention makes my, makes this a little bit easier. I, I spent more time at Suncoast than most stores in the mall, I have to admit. However, when I'm built, the way I'm looking at it is Camelot Music probably has DVDs and they have books because I was also thinking about a bookstore. Um, and so I figured like Camelot kind of covered the much, so I'm going to move on to when you're a teenager and you're, or a kid and you're looking for stuff to do in the mall and you don't have a lot of money, there's very few places are better to spend a half an hour to 45 minutes than Aladdin's Castle.
[0:34:08] Eric: Oh, is it like an arcade?
[0:34:10] Geoff: Full arcade. You go in, you got like two or three bucks. You have to add a minimum. You can just go watch somebody play Pit Fighter or Mortal Kombat for an hour and it's entertaining and, uh, there are probably even some teenagers that are smoking in there.
[0:34:23] Eric: Okay, so I grew up in malls in like the later, like mid to late 90s, uh, in early 2000s. We didn't really have like independent arcades within the mall. Sometimes they were attached to a movie theater. Usually, no arcade at all.
[0:34:41] Geoff: Really?
[0:34:42] Eric: Yeah, so like, it was a nationwide chain.
[0:34:44] Geoff: Jack worked at Aladdin's Castle and if you bring it up, he'll tell you all about it for a while. Yeah, I won't, I'm not gonna be careful of it for a while. But yeah, they were, they were nationwide when I was a kid and they definitely kind of lost their prominence as, you know, as the 80s wore on for sure. But yeah, Aladdin's Castle was a staple.
[0:35:00] Gavin: Yeah, I never saw an arcade in a, in a mall ever growing up. No.
[0:35:04] Eric: Yeah, right? Me neither. And, and it feels like it's such a thing in movies, like going to the mall and going to the arcade. Never had it.
[0:35:12] Geoff: Yeah, it, it, it definitely was for me for sure.
[0:35:15] Eric: That's awesome.
[0:35:16] Geoff: Yeah, I didn't have that.
[0:35:17] Eric: That's a great pick. He, that like, the black and white checker, like, sort of trim is so cool. Like, that is so mall.
[0:35:27] Geoff: It just is so mall. It's where you, it's like, you ever hear that Bad Religion song, Billy? That's where I assume it takes place. Go listen to, go listen to that song and then, then imagine it's happening in Aladdin's Castle and that's, uh, yeah.
[0:35:41] Andrew: It's pretty good. I love that pick. I, I had a hard time, as you said, like, for me, I couldn't figure out how to name it because none of the malls had like a distinct arcade, but there were like the area that had two Virtua Fighter cabinets and like a pinball machine. Yeah. It was just like by itself. There's like, no. So, so knowing that there's a place called Aladdin's Castle where that's what that was, that's awesome. I didn't know that.
[0:36:01] Eric: Great pick. Thanks. I mean, Jeff, you've picked three and now it's your fourth and final. This begins our final round of the mall.
[0:36:10] Geoff: Alright, now this is my regional pick, but it's, it's, uh, and I'm, and I'm picking it because it's very near and dear to me, but, um, I feel like you cannot have a mall, like every mall, at least in America, needs, uh, like a tentpole store, a department store, and everything else kind of feeds, like, when I was a kid it was JCPenney's, it was Sears, eventually it was Dillard's. It's these big Macy's, these stores where you can go and buy cologne and do your school shopping and maybe get a kitchen, uh, item you need, like a pot or a pan or something, and it's all there, typically two stories, and it's like the one-stop shop for your parents. I bought every bit of school clothes I got in middle school and high school that my mom bought me came from this department store in Mobile, Alabama. Gafers! Is that, is that really the name of it? What? Yeah. It eventually became, it eventually became Dillard's, I think they sold to Dillard's.
[0:37:12] Geoff: But yeah, when I was growing up in the 80s and the 90s, the big department store you would go to to do all your school shopping was Gafers.
[0:37:20] Gavin: Wow. You know the guy that took that sign down and put up Dillard's kept the first three letters, right?
[0:37:26] Andrew: Is that the same font as Sony? Is that the same? It looks like it's the same for me.
[0:37:32] Geoff: Well, Gafers is a Sony subsidiary. You can sub it out with Montgomery Ward or Sears or Dillard's or Macy's or whatever you want to, but in Alabama, it was Gafers. So that's my final pick. Big department store, tentpole, uh, like foundational that you need in every mall.
[0:37:49] Eric: Yeah. I like it. I think, I think that the thing we've been lacking is big store that like other, like, I think T, I think that's why TK Maxx is such a good pick. It's store where you have all this stuff that you need to get. And it's sort of a cornerstone in a mall.
[0:38:07] Geoff: It's like when, if you think of Christmas vacation, when, uh, when Clark goes to the mall to get a gift for, uh, for Beverly D'Angelo and he's talking to the lady at the perfume counter and stuff like it's that, right? Yeah. You need that.
[0:38:20] Eric: Absolutely. Um, so I agree that you need that cornerstone shop. You need the thing where you can get all your back to school clothes. You can get jewelry for your wife. You can get a watch. You can get new shorts. You can get all of that stuff. And that's why my pick is the car that you can win in a contest. We've definitely gone in one direction. I'm going the other way. Uh, this is the car that you can enter to win. Uh, it is to me a crucial piece of the mall that you have to walk by and look at and go, how'd they get that in here? And, um, where's the unloading bed? Yeah. I, every mall needs it. Um, every mall has it. You've never known anyone who's ever won it, but the car still exists within the mall. And that's why it's my fourth and final pick the car that you can enter to win.
[0:39:15] Geoff: Oh, that's a great one. It is really a great one. That might be the best one.
[0:39:20] Eric: Thank you. Thank you very much. It's neat. Nick, your final pick in this mall draft.
[0:39:27] Nick: I'm mad at you because this is a place I feel like you can go to. And if something's wrong, if you need to make a wish, you can go and flip a coin into the mall fountain. Wow.
[0:39:40] Eric: The mall fountain.
[0:39:42] Unidentified: The mall fountain. That's great.
[0:39:44] Eric: Wow. That is. The guys, Gavin and Andrew have are up against it now. Mall fountain. Such a good pick. Wow. Wow. I never would have thought of it, Nick.
[0:39:58] Geoff: Nick, you just reminded me that I got a lifetime ban from the mall in Indianapolis because I tied my friend Mike up in the army and threw him in a fountain.
[0:40:11] Unidentified: What a thing to trigger. Wow. I'm so glad you went with that, Nick.
[0:40:22] Andrew: Mall fountain was on my board as well, but I just didn't know if it was too obscure. I'll share mine when we're doing like the submissions we didn't make.
[0:40:29] Geoff: Like, I got to say, the car and the fountain are both just awesome. They are good creative thinking.
[0:40:35] Eric: The picture that you chose also is like, that's the mall.
[0:40:41] Nick: That's the mall. That color, that tone is just so the mall. That dark. Yeah. It looks like the 80s come to life. You know? Yeah. It is.
[0:40:50] Eric: It's the thing now that kids are like, this is a liminal space. And you're like, no, this is just where, this is where we used to go.
[0:40:56] Geoff: Well, it's the color palette of my childhood. It really is. Yeah.
[0:41:02] Eric: Gavin, you're up for your fourth and final pick for this mall draft.
[0:41:07] Gavin: Hmm. All right. You okay? I want to change floors. All right? Okay. But the escalator is a single. And the down one, the one you want, is somewhere else. Why aren't they twins side by side? I always find the one going the wrong way.
[0:41:25] Eric: So is, is your pick a single escalator?
[0:41:33] Gavin: A single escalator where the other direction is somewhere else.
[0:41:38] Geoff: That's a good mall experience. Iconic, iconic, iconic mall feature. You are 100% right.
[0:41:46] Eric: All right. So you have your pick. Your fourth and final pick is a single escalator going one direction where the other one is somewhere else. Exactly right. Fantastic. That, Gavin, after, after Nick picked Fountain, I went, man, I don't know how they're going to top it. Congratulations, man. That's great. That's a great pick that is so uniquely the mall. Absolutely.
[0:42:13] Gavin: That was a last minute pivot based on yours and Nick's recent pick.
[0:42:19] Andrew: I like the idea of being stuck in Gavin's mall and not being able to get out of it. Just constantly going on the wrong escalator.
[0:42:26] Eric: The other one is simply going, it's just somewhere else. You'll find it.
[0:42:29] Andrew: Yeah.
[0:42:30] Eric: Yeah.
[0:42:31] Andrew: It's just, oh man. What a great.
[0:42:33] Eric: Andrew, you are up. This is your fourth pick in our final pick in our mall draft.
[0:42:42] Andrew: These have been, you guys had a great run of mall things that are just like experiential. Like you witnessed them from place to place. There are a lot of great options to choose from. I'm going to go with one that is so specific to Canada. That is, this is so regional. I think it's also important that we cover food items. I'm going to get into it. I'm going to have to give you guys a little bit of an education. Of this store because it's bizarre and a wonderful way. My last pick is Zellers. Now what makes Zellers unique is it's like, imagine like a TJ Maxx, but there also is a diner in it for some reason. What? And just the corner of the store. So my like Zellers experience growing up is you would enter in the Zellers. It would be like a TJ Maxx. They got the clothes. They got the game section. They got toys. They got all that shit. The snacks. Then if you go to the return section, there is a hole in the wall that looks like Andy Dufresne made it. Like it shouldn't be there. And you step in and it's this old retro style diner.
[0:43:42] Andrew: Like you're stepping back in time with like shitty food, but in the best way, like the worst, best burger. For me, it was a grilled cheese and that was my staple as like somebody who grew up like it is the iconic divorce parents place where you got to hang with your dad for like two hours and you're going to get dinner. I spent a lot of time in Zellers. It's a great, it's a sad, but like good, sad mall place. And it doesn't like, it's not just Zellers itself is the thing. Like there's so much iconic imagery with it. This is like a big part of my childhood. Their mascot was called Zeddy and they had these fucking things where you sit in the Zeddy chair and it goes around in a circle and it's just awesome. It's a great, it's a great product. And I have one last thing to share, which I discovered in the history of this. Give me one second to pull up a link. But essentially, I think it's so important. Like we talked about having a restaurant place in your list. And so having a diner and sort of like a TJ Maxx as like a one, two is perfect.
[0:44:43] Andrew: Also, their whole ad campaign was that their prices were the lowest because that was the law. It was like they legally, they had a weird, a judge just approved that we have the lowest prices. So as an honorable man myself, as a respecter of the law, one who prints it, I felt an obligation to depict this.
[0:45:06] Gavin: The lowest price is the law.
[0:45:07] Andrew: Yeah, it's a very, very strange. Is Zellers partnered with Walmart? No, they're not.
[0:45:16] Geoff: Recently, I don't think so. I don't think that was a big Walmart sign right there in the front of your Zellers that says, please excuse the tarp. Well, it's probably going to become one because all the signs in Zellers are closing total liquidation.
[0:45:26] Andrew: All the closing signs and the ceiling's gone. So Zellers closed, but it's back. They just recently brought it back sort of in a bullshit way of inside of a different store. So it's a difference in a different store with a diner in it. So because it's like such an iconic Canadian staple and people have so much nostalgia for Zellers, they brought it back and I believe they're putting it inside of stores called the Bay. I could be wrong about that, but from what I read, that's what they were doing. And then they're doing a food truck outside of it. That was like Zellers items to try to recreate the diner experience. But looking at Zellers commercials, I have a thing. I think Eric will enjoy this the most.
[0:46:08] Eric: No way! It's Val Venus!
[0:46:09] Andrew: There are zero celebrity endorsements from Zellers outside of this weird Val Venus ad, which I think is great. So if you want to watch that very quickly, it's very brief. Val Venus is Canadian.
[0:46:24] Eric: That makes sense.
[0:46:25] Geoff: I like that he just drives around in a convertible with no shirt on.
[0:46:28] Unidentified: Yeah, absolutely. No shirt, it's like glasses.
[0:46:30] Geoff: Those sunglasses are great.
[0:46:34] Unidentified: He's trying to get in. Yeah, he's just trying to get his duct tags.
[0:46:36] Eric: I mean, just so we're all on the same page here on who Val Venus was, his gimmick in the 90s was that he was a porn star who was also a professional wrestler. Was he actually a porn star? No, but that was the gimmick.
[0:46:55] Gavin: So who do you think won this draft? I think it's tough. I like how off the rails the last round went.
[0:47:01] Eric: Me too. I really like that. But that's important for a last round because you're not letting anything go. Let's go over the draft board. Andrew, your mall is Spencer's Gifts, GameStop, Avalon slash Landmark Theater, and Zellers.
[0:47:18] Andrew: It's sort of like Jeff in the last draft. I love my mall, but that's because it's just things that I love. It's my ideal mall.
[0:47:25] Eric: Gavin's mall is Greg's, TK Maxx, Staples, and a single escalator going one direction where the other one is somewhere else. Very mall. Solid.
[0:47:42] Andrew: It's all very mall. I will say I would want to spend the least amount of time in Gavin's mall, but it is very mall.
[0:47:48] Gavin: You know what? That's fair.
[0:47:49] Eric: Nick's mall, Brookstone, Auntie Anne's, Yankee Candle, and the mall fountain.
[0:47:59] Andrew: You know what's an underrated part of the mall fountain that we didn't talk about at the time? That really overly powerful chlorine smell you get from the house. Yes. I love that smell. I think Nick has the best smells. He is the nicest smelling mall by far.
[0:48:12] Eric: Yeah. My mall is AMC Theatres, McDonald's, Suncoast, and the car you can enter to win.
[0:48:22] Unidentified: That's good. That's a good one. That's a really good mall. So good.
[0:48:24] Eric: I feel like there's plenty to do at my mall. Yes. I feel good about it. You might win a car. It's a great contest. And Jeff's Mall, Orange Julius, Camelot Music, Aladdin's Castle, and Gaffers. No.
[0:48:40] Andrew: Great picks. Very you. I feel like also some of your picks lack the brand recognition of, like, I'm not familiar with the Aladdin's Castle, but the idea of a giant arcade in the mall, I fucking love that.
[0:48:53] Geoff: I mean, just because you don't understand the brand, Aladdin's Castle was the largest arcade chain in the world, probably. It's like, there's huge brand recognition. You just don't recognize it.
[0:49:05] Gavin: I've realized my mall is a list of stores that you walk past while you're trying to find the other escalator.
[0:49:11] Eric: That's, I mean, that's absolutely, it's just one big circle where it keeps happening. Oh, you're in a loop. Yeah. That's unfortunate, but that is what it is. And I, you know, that's totally fine. That's totally fine.
[0:49:24] Nick: Jeff's stuff can be found throughout history. Julian. Camelot. Aladdin.
[0:49:28] Eric: Jeff's stuff is all, like, 80s. It's all 80s movie stuff. Like, Jeff's mall is what Terminator 2 looks like.
[0:49:42] Geoff: Well, Terminator 2 is what the mall looked like in the 80s. Yeah, exactly.
[0:49:46] Nick: Luckily, they didn't get stuck on the single escalator, though.
[0:49:49] Andrew: That's, oh, man, what a fight secrets that would have been.
[0:49:52] Geoff: Speaking of Terminator 2, I found in the course of my research, I found a short one minute and 44 second clip of a chase scene that was in a movie filmed in 1994 through one of my high school malls. Oh, wow. And I can share that with you guys if you want to see it. It's maybe the most boring chase scene of all times. There you go.
[0:50:13] Eric: Oh, this is called Springdale Mall motorcycle chase scene from Raw Justice. Yeah. Oh, this music. Wow.
[0:50:22] Geoff: So this would have been filmed while I was in high school, probably.
[0:50:27] Unidentified: Wow.
[0:50:28] Geoff: Did you have any idea they were filming a movie at your mall? I don't think so, no.
[0:50:33] Nick: Ooh, that saxophone.
[0:50:34] Geoff: There's one great line of dialogue about halfway through. Oh, he's opening the big door. He doesn't even realize.
[0:50:41] Eric: It's pretty good. Doesn't even realize motorcycles are coming. Yeah. It's your reaction to it either. That's fantastic. This is so cool. That's your mall. I'm going to reward, man. This is your mall. Oh, yeah.
[0:50:53] Geoff: There's the fountain. There's my fountain. Yep. Like, this is legitimately my mall. What was that shot of? Oh.
[0:51:00] Unidentified: Oh.
[0:51:03] Andrew: Oh, that's kind of stylish, the wheel to the other bike.
[0:51:05] Unidentified: Mm-hmm.
[0:51:06] Eric: This is, uh, I think I might have to watch Raw Justice.
[0:51:09] Unidentified: Do you get to the pullover dump shit line?
[0:51:18] Geoff: Yeah. Yep.
[0:51:19] Unidentified: Yeah.
[0:51:20] Geoff: That was very good. Dude. It's the fucking best.
[0:51:22] Gavin: If you're doing the same thing as what the other dump shit is doing, you're a dump shit.
[0:51:26] Geoff: This GQ store, whatever the fuck that is. You might be able to see capers in this. Just on the floor shot. Oh, God.
[0:51:35] Unidentified: What the?
[0:51:37] Eric: Oh, dude.
[0:51:38] Geoff: This rules.
[0:51:38] Gavin: This is the slowest chase of ever since.
[0:51:42] Geoff: The one dude just fucking eats shit for no reason. Next to Gaffers!
[0:51:51] Eric: Dude. That's, why did they film this in Mobile, Alabama?
[0:51:56] Geoff: Fucking, probably it was free, I would assume. What a chase. Anyway, that's, uh, I thought that was a great little piece of history. Also, I found some funny stuff. You associate the Gap with them all, right? Like, I think you have the Gap constantly. Did you know the Gap used to look this fucking lame? I found this fucking photo of the Gap. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That is not how I feel. That's not how you associate the Gap with today, right?
[0:52:20] Eric: No, not at all. That's definitely before all of its rebrand and everything, right?
[0:52:24] Gavin: Did it start as just a space between two stores? And then they just saw me joke. No, I mean.
[0:52:33] Geoff: No, I never thought about it.
[0:52:35] Gavin: It just looks like two walls of other stores, and they just put clothes in it. Definitely does. That'd be such a cool origin to that name.
[0:52:41] Geoff: KB Toys, and then the other one I had was Walden Books. Oh, those are your honorable. KB Toys is such a good one. Yeah.
[0:52:49] Eric: I feel like one that we didn't pick, but largely because I think it's maybe not anyone here's, like, demographic. But it's a mall staple is Hot Topic. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's a huge store. It feels like it's the only reason people go to the mall right now. But I don't know, man. It was on my list, and I just couldn't pull the trigger on it.
[0:53:17] Gavin: I was going to go for a Lush just so it would waft into the main area. I didn't want to go in because it's too powerful, but I think that'd be nice for the nearby stores.
[0:53:26] Eric: Another one that was regional for me was a place called Mervin's, California. Oh, that logo. Look at that. Oh, Mervin's. Oh, Mervin's. Mervin's, California. Everything about that logo was, oh, we're going back to school and we need to get new clothes.
[0:53:46] Geoff: You know what's interesting about that is Mervin's is a nationwide chain. So you got the, like, Texas-sized version of it where they're, like, they localized it to you.
[0:53:55] Gavin: I bet AC Slater shopped there.
[0:53:57] Eric: Doesn't it look like Saved by the Bell? Like, big time. Yeah, it does. I also had a, I didn't pick it, but I, I was close and it was, uh, the little train that you can ride at the mall. Oh, yeah. Um, I just felt like, um, the car that you can enter to win was a stronger choice, but train at the mall is definitely, like, that's a big one.
[0:54:29] Geoff: Holy shit. I just Googled what happened to Aladdin's Castle. The last Aladdin's Castle closed in May of 2020 in Quincy, Illinois. There were, at a tight, there were, pandemic did them in. There were 450 locations throughout malls in America until the news. Wow.
[0:54:44] Nick: Bummer.
[0:54:45] Eric: That was a great draft. That was a really good draft. That was, that was a really fun draft. The mall, I think these malls, we'll leave it up to the people to decide. Do you guys have any standouts that you thought were the winner or do we leave it just to the people?
[0:54:58] Geoff: I think we leave it to the people. I think we leave it to the people.
[0:55:01] Eric: Um, for sure.
[0:55:01] Geoff: I mean, I think everybody's mall is personal to them. So, like, clearly, I think I did, I had the best, but, you know, I'm sure Andrew thinks he had the best. Yeah. The mall is back. The mall is back. The mall is back.
[0:55:13] Andrew: Some malls are back. Is kernels, is that everywhere? Is that, is that one that shared or is that a local thing? Like, it's a popcorn. It's like a sunglass kiosk, but they only sell popcorn. It's like a mall staple here, but I didn't know if that was too region specific. Never. I never shared, I meant to share the, um, before we move on, my mall has a great, what I feel, at least, a great fountain. They recently got rid of it, which is really sad, but this was a staple of the biggest mall where I live. Water, it's a whole, like, clock tower water thing, which is great. That's really cool. That's really cool. Yeah, it was awesome. It's now just, like, a stupid LCD board that you can, like, step on and it lights up. It's dumb.
[0:55:55] Geoff: Was the clock powered by water or something? I believe so. Yeah. It was awesome. Oh, there's kernels in the background, too. Yeah, there's kernels. Exactly what I was talking about. I didn't even mean to do that.
[0:56:06] Andrew: The other one I didn't pick, but I feel like is very much a mall staple, at least. I, once again, don't know if this is regional. Lids. The hat store. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[0:56:15] Geoff: I feel like every mall has a lids. Every mall, a lot of the malls in America have two or three lids, if I'm being honest with you. Yeah. There's, like, a lids on each floor.
[0:56:23] Eric: Do you guys have a picture of what your mall looked like from the outside? Oh, let me find one. Not the one that we just drafted, but, like, the mall that you would go to all the time? Like, do you have, like, an image of that? I probably can find one.
[0:56:36] Nick: There it is.
[0:56:38] Eric: What is the name of your mall? Ingram Park. Ingram Park Mall. Huh. Here we go. We had, that's the Bel Air Mall. Ooh, nice. That's the Bel Air Mall, yeah. Nice. It's so bright looking. We had the, uh, beautiful Parkway Plaza. Oh, that's awesome. That looks great. That is, that's the mall that I spent all my time when I was a kid. Uh, Gavin, did you have, like, indoor malls?
[0:57:08] Andrew: Uh, yeah, let me, my, uh, my primary indoor mall, Woodgrove Center. Mm-hmm. It's the big one on, on the NIMO. Oh!
[0:57:16] Geoff: Oh, wow. Wow. That's, that's impressive. It looks kind of like a TIE fighter.
[0:57:23] Gavin: Oh, wow. Mine was Friars Square.
[0:57:27] Geoff: Friars Square is a great name.
[0:57:29] Gavin: That's so British, dude. And when I was a kid, I used to love running through that bridge, because it was, like, kind of boing-y. It was, like, boing-woing-woing-woing. Yeah. And it was, like, a little bit springy on the floor.
[0:57:40] Eric: Guys, this was a very good draft. Uh, I'm really excited to see what, when we leave it to the people, what they choose as the winning mall. But, um, this was a really successful draft. Yeah. I like this a lot. So, we've done falls. We've done rocks, but not rocks. We've done malls. Who knows what's next? Um. You still want to do falls again, Gavin?
[0:58:04] Geoff: Or is that shift? Oh, yeah, big time. A big time. Let's do walls. I got dibs on a great wall of China.
[0:58:10] Unidentified: Oh, man. Oh, shit.
[0:58:12] Eric: Um, well, that's it. I think that's the end of our draft. Great, malls. Any parting thoughts? Any final words about malls or to these people listening? No. Nope.
[0:58:25] Geoff: If you haven't, but thanks for asking, Eric. I do. If you haven't been, if you feel nostalgia towards malls, you remember enjoying them in your youth, or maybe you have never been to a mall and you don't know what all the hubbub is about, Google mall in your town and take a gander, walk around it, see, you might be surprised. The malls are back in some places. They're definitely not in others, but you might be surprised. The mall might be back in your very town and you didn't even know it.
[0:58:52] Andrew: I actually do. Now that you've said something, Jeff, you just made me think. I'd love to hear what, like, regional things people have for their malls. Like, I want to know what, what their equivalent is, is Ellers or whatever. I'd love to see that.
[0:59:04] Eric: Let us know. Tweet at us, at F*** Face Pod. And you can also follow us on Instagram and let us know who won this, uh, mall draft, because we will have polls. Uh, but thank you very much for listening. This has been a, uh, F*** Face Draft, and now we're done. Bye!
